The Dog Proves Once Again That No Matter How Much She Wants To Be a Human, She Will Never Be One

Fulfilling the commitment I made to myself to “move daily”, I just got back from a 40 minute walk with Roxie. It was one of the most annoying walks I’ve had in a long time. Not only was she “reverse sneezy”, but it was practically endless today. Unlike “most” beagles, she does not stand still while she does this during a walk: she just keeps going. I make her sit for a couple of seconds and she stops, but as soon as we resume walking she begins again and I’m looking over my shoulder wondering how many people are outside thinking I’m a terrible pet owner for walking a dog who has this problem and why don’t I take her home.

But that wasn’t the worst of it. There are many, many, many (lots of ’em!) Canadian geese (I think they’re Canadian, though I haven’t asked them) in this area, and they leave their droppings everywhere. Luckily, they don’t hang out by my house; rather, they prefer the golf course around the corner.

On today’s walk, though I don’t give Roxie much lead in the leash, we walked through an area where the geese left their poo and Roxie started eating it like she had been on a desert island without proper food for months. I was yanking the leash this way and that, and though at this point she was literally under my feet, I couldn’t guide her through the poo fast enough; she just kept picking it up. Ugh. She was like a Super-Suction Vacuum Cleaner of the future, like this one:

Why, oh why, do dogs have to eat that stuff???