In the car today, on the way to deliver the 13-year-old to his guitar lesson:

Him: “You know Mom, you should be on “Ellen”.

Me: “Really? Why?”

Him: “Because you do all of this writing for Nailpro, and you wrote a book and all.”

Me: “Hmmm. I don’t think that’s quite enough to get to be on Ellen’s show.”

Him: “Well, just write more! Maybe something about the Bears?”