Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Saying goodbye to Kate and her family was super tough, especially since Bean started saying goodbye to me on Monday evening. (I had arrived at their house on Saturday and wasn’t due to leave there until Wednesday evening!) Bean summoned me to her room–though her mom–so I could say goodnight to her up there. I walked into her mostly dark room and knelt down next to her bed.

She said, “Melisa, I have something to tell you. I wanted my mom to tell you, but I am going to tell you myself, okay?”

Wow, that sounded important.

I said, “Sure! Go ahead; I’m listening.”

She pulled the sheet up over her face (so she could talk without making eye contact with me in the glow of the nightlight) and spoke.

“Dear Melisa, (Yes, she did. She said “DEAR MELISA”.) I am going to reallyreallyreally miss you when you leave. I have had lots of fun with you and I am going to miss you. Love, Bean.”

Naturally my eyes began watering immediately because there is nothing, I’m now convinced, sweeter than a five-year-old girl who is whispering heartfelt words through 300-thread-count sheets.

I gave her a big hug and a kiss and told her that I would miss her too, but we still had a couple of days left and much more fun to have!

On Wednesday evening I found myself growing more emotional as Bean’s bedtime neared, because I planned to leave after saying goodnight (and goodbye for now) to her. I became very attached to Squeaks, who is without a doubt the exact baby I would want if I were ever going to have another (but I’m not, for many reasons, so don’t start with me!). I will have to settle for borrowing him and doting on him when I go to visit. Knowing full well that four-week-old babies do not smile on purpose, I kept begging him to give me JUST ONE SMILE before I left, and of course he didn’t; however, I spent hours making eye contact with him and I know he was happy in my arms and smiling with his eyes. (Shut up.) I am very, very sad that, by the time I see him next, he won’t be squeaky anymore and he will be a huge six- or seven-month-old. So many changes in so little time for that little guy. I will treasure my five days with him immensely.

The fun I had with Bean was indescribable, really, and we had so many more great conversations than I could ever post here. She cracked me up at every turn. I told her that I was going to try to look at my summer schedule to see if I could make it for another visit, and she told me that I should come on “Day Two” of summer, and then go home after a while so I could come back at the end of the summer for an extra visit. This little love bug hugged me goodbye no less than three times over the course of an hour on Wednesday evening and, after I was well into a crying jag after hugging Kate, her hubby, and Squeaks goodbye and was on my way out the door, Bean came running down the stairs calling, “MELISA! WAIT!!!!”

I said, “What, Bean?”

“I have something for you to take home to your boys. I’m going to sing to you and then you take the song home and sing to them.”

And then, that little cherub stood on the stairs and sang “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” to me, which was what I sang to her each time I went to her room to say goodnight. I stared at her with tears flooding my eyes, seriously considering for a moment that maybe I should have taken Kate’s offer and just moved in with them permanently, but of course I snapped out of it when Bean finished the song, and I said my final goodbyes, cursing the fact that we live so far apart, and driving back to my mom’s house in a crying, quivery mess.

©2010 Suburban Scrawl