Live Blogging The Royal Wedding: It’s A Dirty Job, But Somebody’s Gotta Do It.

That’s right, I’m doing it.

When the engagement was announced, I giddily recorded a video exposing my terrible “secret” and excitedly spoke about how I would make “big plans” for the wedding. I had intended to have some friends come and spend the night, or get a hotel suite in the city (seriously). Unfortunately but also very fortunately, my life’s bigger plans got in the way of making those big plans, and now here it is, less than twelve hours before Catherine becomes the newest Royal, and I’ve got nada. I had to plan SOMETHING. So I did.

Due to the fact that I have a feeling Twitter is going to implode during tomorrow’s festivities, I have decided to live blog the wedding of William and Kate Catherine. Since I’m a Today Show addict, I will be following Matt, Meredith, Natalie, and Ann’s coverage, which starts at 3:00 a.m. Central Time. (By the way, I’m a little annoyed at NBC about something. I wrote about it on Tumblr.)

You might be picking your chin up off the floor about now, wondering why the heck I’d get up so early. In fact, if you were my husband you’d be asking me “WHY DON’T YOU JUST DVR IT??” (Because that’s what my real husband asked me.)

My response? “I AM going to DVR it. But I want to watch live.”

So now, if you were my husband, you would stare at me blankly, shake your head just a little bit, and then remember how positively adorable I can be when I’m not being all weird about the royal family, and then let it go.

I found a handy-dandy, minute-by-minute timetable of the festivities, here. What will I be doing, besides live blogging? I’m glad I asked myself that on your behalf. Here’s your handy-dandy, minute-by-minute timetable of what I’ll be doing:

3:00 a.m. Rubbing sleep out of my eyes and questioning my own sanity.

3:01 a.m. Screaming (in my inside, mental voice) “Royal Wedding of the Century FTW!!”

3:05 a.m. Turning on The Today Show and making a fashionably late entrance.

3:10 a.m. Checking my email to see how many of you left me supportive comments and how many of you left comments along the lines of “YOU ARE NUTS!” The latter will be reported to Santa Claus.

3:30 a.m. Donning one of the five tiaras in my current collection.

4:00 a.m. Watching Princes William and Harry leave Clarence House. Probably thinking about Diana and wondering what her role would be if she were alive today.

4:35 a.m. Watching Prince Andrew and his daughters (Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice) head to Westminster Abbey. Will be watching for signs of Sarah Ferguson’s stowaway attempts.

4:37 a.m. After watching the Queen, the Duke of Edinburgh, the Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall get on their way, I will run up to the kitchen to grab a royal wedding breakfast of oatmeal, along with a bowl of sliced strawberries with just a dab of whipped cream on top.

4:43 a.m. Who am I kidding? I LOVE whipped cream. Will go back upstairs for more because I didn’t put enough on the first time.

4:50 a.m. Settling back on the couch, I will be on Catherine-watch, waiting for the dress. I will remind myself at this point that I need to choose a good time to get dressed myself, as I have to leave the house at 6:45 to go on a high school field trip with J.

4:55 a.m. Looking for some Kleenex when Kate exits her vehicle.

5:00 a.m. Watching the ceremony. Wondering if Elton John will be singing anything, then guessing probably not. Feeling annoyed that former Prime Minister Tony Blair wasn’t invited, protocol or not. Laughing because when I think of Tony Blair, I think of Michael Sheen, who played Blair in the 2006 movie (one of my favorites, of course), “The Queen”

6:15 a.m. Ceremony over, I will be running around like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to get ready (get dressed, put on makeup, check my purse to make sure I’ve got everything) to leave the house for the day.

6:45 a.m. Will grab J and get into the car, screeching out of the garage.

6:46 a.m. Will pull back up into the garage after being scolded by my sixteen-year-old that I forgot to take my tiara off and I can just forget taking him to school if I’m going to wear THAT THING.

6:47 a.m. Tiara off, I’ll finally be on my way.

So, there you have it, a pretty good guess about how my morning will go tomorrow. Come back and check on me to see how close I was. It’ll be interesting for all of us, I can tell you that!