Movie Popcorn. We Have a Love/Hate Relationship.

Ah, movie popcorn.

It’s one of my very favorite things to eat in the entire world. And yes, I know it’s horrible for me, especially with extra butter. Let’s just get that out of the way. It’s HORRIBLE for me. Horrible.

But I love it so.

I happen to think that the theaters who have the little “add-your-own-butter” stations did that just for me.

I get a little carried away. In fact, I expect my local theater to take away those stations someday, and it’ll be because of me.

Last summer, I cut way, way back on the movie popcorn and then I gradually started eating it again. But ONLY when I go to the movies.

(Which is a couple times every month.)

I can order a small popcorn with no problem.

But the medium is usually only a dollar more.

And the large, bigger-that-my-head bucket? Only a dollar more.

I mean, I don’t HAVE to eat all of the popcorn in the bucket, right?

By the way, that’s terrible logic: to spend a dollar more on something I won’t completely finish.

(Not that I have never completely finished a large bucket of popcorn, alone. Because I have. Several times. Okay, many times.)

That’s the logic I use every time, though. I’m saving money, and can take popcorn home for later. As if I need it for later. Anyway.

On Saturday, Jim and I went to see “The Judge”. Phenomenal movie, by the way.

I ordered my money-saving large bucket of popcorn, ate half, and then threw the rest away on the way out because I had a stomach ache.

“I don’t think I can eat popcorn at the movies anymore,” I said to Jim. “It made me feel really icky.”

He stared at me with a look that said, “After nearly twenty-eight years of marriage I think I know you better than that…”

I responded to his silence by saying, “I’m serious. I’m not eating it anymore. Cold turkey for me. I don’t like the way it makes me feel because I can’t eat just a little bit!”

“Uh-huh,” he said.

I WOULD SHOW HIM.

The chance to prove myself came more quickly than I had anticipated: we took in another movie yesterday, Brad Pitt’s “Fury”. It was playing at our favorite theater, the one that has a full menu. We decided to see the 1:00 show and eat lunch.

“Great,” I said, “we’re eating lunch and no popcorn! I can do this.”

“Uh-huh,” he said.

Once we were seated in the theater, I looked at Jim and said, “I’m getting a burger for lunch. But no popcorn…WAIT. I mean, this is really hard. No popcorn? How can I see a movie and not eat popcorn? Oh my gosh, what was I thinking, no popcorn?? WHO AM I? Well. I mean, I can TOTALLY control myself. I’ll just order a popcorn WITH my burger and, you know, control myself. By only eating a few pieces. Or a handful. I mean, I certainly can stop before I get a stomach ache. I’m a control freak! Control my popcorn intake? TOTALLY. Okay, that decides it. I’m getting popcorn. I know I said I wasn’t going to but I totally am. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m doing it. You hear me? I’M DOING IT. With extra butter. No regrets. I’m in total control here. Control of my popcorn destiny. Yes, I’d like a burger and a popcorn. Extra butter. Thank you.”

As I sank back into my seat I watched my husband laugh and shake his head, not surprised by my behavior in the slightest.

Man, I’m lucky to have him. And movie popcorn with extra butter.