The Cross

This story actually began in 1999 when I was working at a local health club. I was friendly with the general manager–well, we all were–and whenever I met him in his office he would open his dorm-sized refrigerator and offer me a can of flavored carbonated water. I hadn’t heard of La Croix before I met him and always politely refused the offer because it just didn’t sound very good to me. He drank it like it was going out of style. I mean, he had a refrigerator in his office for the sole purpose of keeping his La Croix cold.

One day, after many days of sticking to my plain, non-sparkling, filtered tap water, I told him I’d try it.

It was disgusting.

I chalked it up to the flavor (I can’t even remember what flavor it was) and went on with my life, never to look at that sparkling water again.

Until this summer.

I had been contemplating giving up Coke Zero (again; this happens every couple of years) and suddenly I started seeing La Croix everywhere. EVERYWHERE. It occurred to me that much like I have become a fan of avocado and salmon as an adult when I never touched them years ago, perhaps I could enjoy La Croix. I’m seventeen years older than I was in that health club manager’s office, after all.

I suggested to Jim that perhaps we should try La Croix because, well, it was better for us than soda/pop/Coke (whichever term you use depending on your geographic location). We picked up a twelve-pack of Berry, because I thought that Berry sounded like the most innocent and the most delicious. We couldn’t miss with Berry, that’s for sure!

Um.

Berry was a miss. A TOTAL MISS.

As it turns out, my friends are totally worked up about La Croix. Many are passionate in their love for it and many are passionate in their hatred for it.

Some of the friends who love La Croix really love it. They asked, “Maybe you just don’t like carbonated water?”
I answered, “I don’t now about THAT; perhaps I just didn’t like that flavor.”
Many of them mix La Croix with other things (especially vodka), and I can get on board with that but if I don’t like La Croix, why would I force myself to drink it by adding vodka when I can just stick with my favorites, Coke with either Jack or Bacardi?

The friends who hate La Croix really hate it. One of my friends commented, “You should reconsider who your friends are….I would never have done such a horrible thing to you…or him!” Others are flavor-specific in their hate. I was told that Berry really is terrible and that I should try Grapefruit. Or Lime. Especially Lime. Apparently Lime is the shiznit.

One day I found myself at Target in the beverage aisle, picking up another flavor. Naturally I had to tell Facebook.

But I didn’t buy Lime that day. My friend Vikki, along with everyone else apparently, loves Lime and sent me multiple reminders that I should buy some Lime before making my final decision about La Croix in general. She saw that Facebook post and texted me immediately (and simply): “Lime,” adding “Maybe you just don’t like carbonated water?”

Spoiler alert: we hated this flavor too.

The fact is, as much as I tried, I couldn’t get away from it. La Croix sponsored a local concert Jim and I attend every summer. COINCIDENCE? (Okay, probably.)

My friend Angie called me out on Instagram.

Jen told me she really likes the Pamplemousse (French for Grapefruit) and I asked her to bring me a can to try when we met up one night. Unfortunately she forgot to take it out of her purse and hand it to me so I have yet to pass judgement on Pamplemousse.

Vikki taunted me with her Lime La Croix.

One day while I was off running other errands, Jim did the grocery shopping and I came home to this. Lime.

I have news for you. Lime is terrible, too, in my opinion.

Don’t get me wrong; if you love La Croix, more power to you. I respect the brand. They definitely have a huge fan base of people who love love love love the many flavors that are out there, as well as those who think the flavors make good add-ons for vodka and limoncello.

Me?
Maybe I just don’t like carbonated water.

Besides being a Lime La Croix Booster, Vikki is also a great accountability partner. I nagged her nearly to death to finally write something new for her blog this week, and I think she still likes me. Check out her amazing writing at Up Popped a Fox.