D has been living at home for the past few months, commuting to the city for his full-time job and taking on extra freelance projects at night. While he’s got the normal twenty-three-year-old desire to get back out on his own because living with his parents again is just annoying in general, it’s been really nice having him around. As I watch him juggle all the things, all the time, I alternate between smiling and cringing. On one hand, I love that he seems to have my sense of overdrive; on the other hand I feel terribly guilty for passing that gene down to him. This conversation actually happened last…
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They Come Back.
Jim and I spent today driving up to Madison, Wisconsin, grabbing a moving truck, and moving our older son back home. Nothing bad happened; it’s just that the six-month internship he took on ended (as did his lease) and he hasn’t found a new place of employment yet. Most parents probably don’t think, when they send their kids off to college (or a non-college alternative), that they’ll be back. If they did, I know there would be far fewer tears and less anxiety about the process. In an ideal world, the kids leave home, get their traditional (or non-traditional) education, find great jobs, support themselves without a problem and then…
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Once Again, It’s All In The Attitude.
We spent most of last weekend moving D from Kenosha to Madison (Wisconsin!). It’s an interesting time for him right now. After doing production work for a mid-sized marketing company for the last year, he was hired by a much smaller graphic design firm. He’s wanted to work at this place for nearly three years, since he was still finishing his classes. Here’s the rub: he’ll be a design intern, which is fantastic for long-term and getting him where he wants to go in his career but in the short-term, it’s a pretty significant pay cut. That’s why we’re focusing on the long-term. His living situation is also being downgraded;…
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Empty Nesting Is Awesome, Except When It’s Not.
I love my life the way it is at this moment. I have one son who graduated from college and supports himself with an actual job, and I have another son who is a college sophomore, living only two hours from home. I work from home. I have the freedom to sleep in if I want, workout for as long as I want, not cook dinner for a whole week if I don’t want to, and most of all, pack a bag and take off to visit friends or accompany Jim on a business trip if I want, with no problem. Many of my friends who still have kids at…
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Take A Hike.
When D was a Cub Scout and going on his first group hikes, he used to stay at the front with the other little boys. They would inevitably increase the distance between us parents and them by speeding up from excitement and not paying attention. “Slow down,” we’d yell. “We need to be able to keep an eye on you.” As one would expect, the boys learned very well as they grew older to pace themselves according to the rest of the group, and hikes became a little less stressful for the parents. A couple of years in, he and his same-aged friends hiked in the middle of the pack…
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When Type A + Type A = Type B
In yet another example of how time flies and how surreal it is to have grown children, we moved D into his first solo apartment over the weekend. He hasn’t lived at home full time for four years now (!!!!), spending the first three years in the dorm and this past year in a house with several of his friends. After graduation they all started to go their separate ways and he needed to find his own place. Jim and I drove up to Wisconsin to help him move, and we were secretly-not-so-secretly thrilled to find out that he had rented a truck the night before and had friends help…
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The Listmaker Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree
As my boys have grown, it’s been very interesting to see which personality traits they’ve inherited from Jim and me. While I have felt terrible when we’ve discovered certain that some of the less desirable characteristics have been passed down—cough, cough, procrastination, cough, cough—I have laughed a little bit at others. Here’s an example. This conversation happens several times a week in my house, year-round: Jim: “What do you have going on today?” Me: “Ugh, so much. My to do list is miles long.” This conversation happened on Tuesday: Jim: “What do you have going on today?” D: “Ugh, a lot. My to do list is six and a half…
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Pamela Druckerman’s “Bringing Up Bebe” Stirs The Pot On Parenting
There’s been another dust-up in the news this week, and this time the big story is how great the French are at parenting. I mentioned it briefly in yesterday’s vlog, and I really need to expand on it because parenting and its various styles is a topic for which I have endless passion. (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, click here to read the Wall Street Journal essay/excerpt by Pamela Druckerman, author of “Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting”.) First, let me give you the disclaimer: I am not ragging on the author OR the book, which I have not read.…
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Transitions, Part Two
Yesterday I wrote about D’s return to college, and how different it feels this year compared to last. There are some changes where J is concerned, too. He has just begun his junior year in high school, which is really hard to believe in itself, so let’s all just pause for a moment to think about that. *pause* At the beginning of June, J got his first real job, working for an internet-based company. The owners of the company, a husband and wife, are members at our temple and gave him a chance for the summer, even though they were initially looking for a college student. J jumped right in…